Journal entry: Have you ever been the victim of unrequited love? How did you feel? Have you ever been the recipient of affection from someone whom you did not care about? How did you feel about the situation?
For the first time, I had to post the task to help keep it in mind.
Now, the definition for unrequited (courtesy of Matt since I was too lazy to look it up myself):
First off, my love life in general has been quite a chaotic mess at times. I definitely have felt times at which I really liked someone, but they never noticed or didn't accept me. I think I have also been the recipent of affection from someone I didn't really care about at the time. However, I can't be 100% certain that it was affection, since at the time it happened, I really didn't understand girls at all.
Over the years (and to this very day), I've been reffered to as "gay" in the ignorant sense of the word. In the past, I was reffered to as this because I didn't understand girls as well as other guys did, and I was pretty adamant about not dating or starting a relationship with anyone. Presently, it has had to do with the fact that my actions, thoughts, ideas, emotions, and vocal ability (or lack thereof) somehow fall along the feminine idealism. To put it bluntly, my sensitivity is looked on as weird by some people.
It may not seem relevant, but how other people perceive my internal actions actually matters to me when I choose whether or not to deeply like someone, or to manufacture false feelings filled fully of lust. I set pretty high standard to liking someone as I put to my academic values. I feel that this high standard measure gives me the opportunity to analyze a person or persons on a deeper level to estimate compatibility. Despite the fact that love and romance are not an exact science, I feel a scientific and logical approach to it is most advantageous to avoid being scammed by cute faces, false attitudes, and overly superfical ideals.
Now that I'm finished with the background, I can transition into the assignment. -----------------------------------------------------
Journal Entry
It is a proven fact: I have indeed been the victim of unrequited love. I can't say for certain that I have received unwanted affection from anybody. I have felt pretty sad and doubtful in both situations, however. I either feel that I'm not up to par (for the unrequited love)or that I should give this person a chance (for the unwanted affection).
The time in which I was a victim of unrequited love was in sophomore year. Unfortunately, the object of my affection (who I'll nickname Venus for discretion purposes) did not notice the intense feelings I had to desire her love. Despite poetic gifts, time spent together, and favors galore, Venus rarely looked in my direction. There was always someone else ahead of me on the path to her heart. Even though guy after guy ended in the same result of unpleasantness for Venus, and she confided within me every time something went wrong, she still didn't look towards me. It was thoroughly frustrating until I decided to give up and move on.
Although this is purely speculatory, my experience can relate to Hamlet in the scene where Hamlet had drawn his pants down for Ophelia. Maybe Hamlet wasn't acting nutty, but simply letting his emotions overtake him on his pathway of unrequited love. Since after the instance, Ophelia told Polonius about how horrified the encounter was. It is possible that the encounter itself didn't horrify her, but that it was Hamlet being the perpetrator that blitzed her into a state of fear.
I cannot be 100% certain, but I think that I have received some unwanted affection in my past. I was unfortunately not in the mood to receive affection at the time, and the form in which the affection was applied wasn't pleasing, which made me like the person even less, and I lashed out at this person. I still regret lashing out at her to this very day.
When I was in eighth grade, I knew a girl named Nancy. She used to always pick on me constantly. From spitballs in American history, to saying that my head resembled a tampon, I grew very annoyed at her frivolous games. I had discussed this problem with my mom, who had said that Nancy probably just liked me and wanted to show me that. I had took this thought to heart, but I was so bombarded by the annoyance of the acts she perpetrated, that I couldn't think if this was her form of showing affection.
After a very long while, I got so fed up with her antics that I just lost my temper, and screamed at her to just leave me alone! She wasn't too thrilled to hear that, and ran off. I didn't mean to yell at her, but she just began to get under my skin. As I reflect on it to this day, I think that her antics were her idea of getting noticed by me. Unfortunately, I had such a rotten temper, I couldn't see her clearly cute attempts for my attention, and instead mistook it for clearly malicious intentions.
This particular instance cannot relate to Hamlet himself, but using the scene I chose before, one could argue that Ophelia was the recepient of the unwanted affection. She didn't really care for Hamlet on that deep level, and responded to his actions by way of being fearful of him.
Whether it be me crushing on someone, and the feelings not reciprocrated, or someone liking me and not getting the reaction they want, one thing is underlying: We both feel the other's pain. No matter what the situation, the pain is what I think is always reciprocal. -------------------------------------------------- Bonus Reflection
Even now, after I've had my first relationship (which sadly ended) I am once again in the hot seat of unrequited love. Whether I decide to pursue someone new, or someone I'd rather not start a relationship with comes towards me, I will feel some of the wrath of unrequited love.
I did have a good relationship in the past with my special someone, and even though that we don't exist "as one" anyone, I still have feelings for that person. I haven't moved on yet. Arguably, you could say that I am a victim on unrequited love in this instance if my girlfriend has moved on, and retains no prior feelings of love for me. She then becomes the recipient of my unwanted affection, and I sure hope that's not the case.
P.S. Sorry for the Extremely long winded, Polonius-esque entry, I had a lot of personal things (that I don't mind divulging) to say on this topic. ~K*.
I have been a victim of unrequited love. My feelings and actions reflect those of Hamlet in the play entitled Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. Since I had strong feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same for me, I began to question myself. I felt degraded in a way and as a result my behavior changed dramatically. In the play, Ophelia describes Hamlet’s wardrobe as “ungartered,” “fouled,” and “doublet.” Although my appearance wasn’t dramatized to this extent, I began to pay little to no attention to the clothes I was wearing. I felt like if he didn’t feel the same way as me, why should I worry about impressing him. In the play, Hamlet gives Ophelia a letter, which she later rejects. I believe this is the reason he is acting differently (and of course because of the death of his father). In return, I have also been a recipient of affection for someone whom I didn’t feel the same about. I felt uncomfortable in that situation because I tried to play into the role of liking the person back, but in return I wasn’t being myself. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place but I finally decided it would be better to be honest with both that person and myself. I am beginning to infer that this is what is happening with Ophelia and Hamlet in the play. It is evident that Hamlet has affection for her because he was caressing her but on the contrary Ophelia rejected his letter.
Surprisingly, I have been a victim of unrequited love many times unfortunately and let me say now it is not a good feeling. I felt like someone that has the feeling that no one loves them and they are pretty much in the world alone. In this modern time with the ways children behave, being a member of unrequited love is a joke to them and they will forever talk about, “Oh you got shut down.” So when this happens it really makes you feel like a no one. I think that’s how Ophelia feels in the book Hamlet. For example, when Hamlet was talking to Ophelia and knew that she was being watched he still saying all those things trying to get her in trouble I guess. It also seemed that Ophelia really likes Hamlet and he was denying even writing those letters and basically calling her a whore. There have also been many times where I have been the recipient of affection from someone whom I did not care about. It actually felt kind of good because it shows that there are people out there who really care about you, but also if you don’t care about them then that love/affection won’t really matter to you. Some people would actually want that person to just leave him/her alone. For example, just the opposite of what I said before. Ophelia likes Hamlet but the way Hamlet is acting it shows that he doesn’t care about her if he is asking all of these questions about her virginity when he does that is just a reputation killer and he knows that there are people listening and watching their conversation.
Ok, im going to try mine again. I too have "been the victim of unrequited love". However, my case was a little twisted. I believed, just like Hamlet, that i was a victim of unrequited love. I acted in the same ways hamlet acted and thought the same way he thought in his "to be or not to be" speech. I spent so long of a time in this mentality, and became so shrouded in it, that i couldnt see the truth. I was recieiving the love all along, just not in the way in which i desired it. It turned me into a very "bitter" and "dark" person, but through the course of maturing and growing up(kind of redundant)i was able to truley see the love i was recieving. it is amusing to look back on the fact that i was so "desperate" for my "Ophelia's" love, that i would resort to such Hamlet-like tactics,-though substantialy less carnal. I have learned- unlike Hamlet- not to be to rash about the events occuring in my life. Somtimes things just need to be waited out and the outcome observed. It would be a little extreme to go around killing "fishmongers" haha. I believe that Hamlet should have taken the time to asess the situation and then choose an appropriate reaction instead of just rushing into his plan.
P.S. to my boy Kyle. I dont think ANY male TRULEY understands the female species bro. We can TRY, but there are some things that we, as males, just cant understand. However, when you really think about it, thats what makes them SO awesome, because during this journey to truley understand them, they bring out the BEST in us....222
Well I think that I have not really been a victim of unrequited love but I have been more the recipient of affection from someone whom I did not care about. Being the recipient of someone whom I don't care about is not really a good feeling because I would not want that person to do the same thing to me, I know that I will feel hurt and crush. Then again it’s good to know that I have someone that cares for me but then again it is hopeless because I do not feel the same way. I always end up being a recipient of affection from someone I don’t care about. I kind of can compare myself to Hamlet, like for example when Hamlet knew that Ophelia likes him and he was rejecting her and cursing her. I would not say that I am exactly like Hamlet because I don’t curse the person but I somehow push them away and deny them by my action and words which is not really a good thing to do. Hamlet shows Ophelia that he did not care about her but I just do it without even realizing that I am doing it.
Kyle, Many girls in high school fall for "bad boys," This is not always the case, but often is. I don't know why. I wish I did. It has something to do with this weird complex and need to try and help and fix those in need. At some point it goes away. My husband says and I think he is right that geeks and nerds get the ultimate revenge. They show up to their high school reunions with the highest paying jobs and the smartest/hottest/most desirable women or partners by their sides. I think there is some truth to that at least in my experience.
Sort of a vague entry on your part but I do understand that this is a sensitive topic. I know what you mean though about trying to please someone who likes you by being nice to them and then realizing that you are misleading them or not being yourself. It is hard to reject someone without hurt feelings. Sigh.
Jeriel, In the film today I was thinking about how heavy the queen's comments were to Ophelia when she said she hoped that Ophelia's beauty and virtue would bring Hamlet back to his senses. For the first time, I realized that one way to think about this is that the Queen was actually making a veiled threat. She was saying, if Hamlet doesn't come around, your rep is dead girl." Ouch. It must have been scary to be poor Ophelia.
Okay I am going to redeem myself. I need to reword my paragraph. At that moment I was not really thinking, nothing came into my mind so Lauren I am going to fix it because I am not a heart breaker. So here it goes.
Well I don’t really know whether or not having a crush on somebody or liking somebody is a part of unrequited love. If it is then I have been a victim of unrequited love because I’ve had a guy that I really like but I would not say I love him and he does not notice since I don’t show it around him. So I am not really sure if that is unrequited love. One thing that I know for sure is that I have been the recipient of affection from someone else but its not like I do not care about that person because I do care for that person just not in the relationship Love way but in a friendship way. I could say that right now I am in a situation like that. Being the recipient of someone whom I do care about is not really a good feeling because that person and I still share something which is friendship and being able to speak to that person is kind of hard but I think that not speaking to that person at all will really crush me down. It’s good to know that I have someone that cares for me but then again it is hopeless because I do not feel the same way. I think that the only reason why I have been a recipient of love or affection is because I prefer being friends with that boy than be in a relationship with them because I do not want to be the one to get hurt at the end and I think hat I am not ready for love. I don’t really know whom should I compare my self to, whether I am like hamlet or Ophelia. Hamlet and Ophelia both like each other but then again they push each other away so I’m not really sure in which character I fit in.
Nadege, You seem to be all mixed up. Get thee to a therapist! :0( Seriously, what exactly do you want? What exactly did Ophelia want? I think you two have more in common than you realize. Too bad she is not real because you two could text all day long and dance the night away. What kind of music do you think she'd like?
12 comments:
Journal entry: Have you ever been the victim of unrequited love? How did you feel? Have you ever been the recipient of affection from someone whom you did not care about? How did you feel about the situation?
For the first time, I had to post the task to help keep it in mind.
Now, the definition for unrequited (courtesy of Matt since I was too lazy to look it up myself):
Not returned or reciprocated.
Now a window into my mind & soul:
*Hint: Rare Occurence*
------------------------------------------------------
Background
First off, my love life in general has been quite a chaotic mess at times. I definitely have felt times at which I really liked someone, but they never noticed or didn't accept me. I think I have also been the recipent of affection from someone I didn't really care about at the time. However, I can't be 100% certain that it was affection, since at the time it happened, I really didn't understand girls at all.
Over the years (and to this very day), I've been reffered to as "gay" in the ignorant sense of the word. In the past, I was reffered to as this because I didn't understand girls as well as other guys did, and I was pretty adamant about not dating or starting a relationship with anyone. Presently, it has had to do with the fact that my actions, thoughts, ideas, emotions, and vocal ability (or lack thereof) somehow fall along the feminine idealism. To put it bluntly, my sensitivity is looked on as weird by some people.
It may not seem relevant, but how other people perceive my internal actions actually matters to me when I choose whether or not to deeply like someone, or to manufacture false feelings filled fully of lust. I set pretty high standard to liking someone as I put to my academic values. I feel that this high standard measure gives me the opportunity to analyze a person or persons on a deeper level to estimate compatibility. Despite the fact that love and romance are not an exact science, I feel a scientific and logical approach to it is most advantageous to avoid being scammed by cute faces, false attitudes, and overly superfical ideals.
Now that I'm finished with the background, I can transition into the assignment.
-----------------------------------------------------
Journal Entry
It is a proven fact: I have indeed been the victim of unrequited love. I can't say for certain that I have received unwanted affection from anybody. I have felt pretty sad and doubtful in both situations, however. I either feel that I'm not up to par (for the unrequited love)or that I should give this person a chance (for the unwanted affection).
The time in which I was a victim of unrequited love was in sophomore year. Unfortunately, the object of my affection (who I'll nickname Venus for discretion purposes) did not notice the intense feelings I had to desire her love. Despite poetic gifts, time spent together, and favors galore, Venus rarely looked in my direction. There was always someone else ahead of me on the path to her heart. Even though guy after guy ended in the same result of unpleasantness for Venus, and she confided within me every time something went wrong, she still didn't look towards me. It was thoroughly frustrating until I decided to give up and move on.
Although this is purely speculatory, my experience can relate to Hamlet in the scene where Hamlet had drawn his pants down for Ophelia. Maybe Hamlet wasn't acting nutty, but simply letting his emotions overtake him on his pathway of unrequited love. Since after the instance, Ophelia told Polonius about how horrified the encounter was. It is possible that the encounter itself didn't horrify her, but that it was Hamlet being the perpetrator that blitzed her into a state of fear.
I cannot be 100% certain, but I think that I have received some unwanted affection in my past. I was unfortunately not in the mood to receive affection at the time, and the form in which the affection was applied wasn't pleasing, which made me like the person even less, and I lashed out at this person. I still regret lashing out at her to this very day.
When I was in eighth grade, I knew a girl named Nancy. She used to always pick on me constantly. From spitballs in American history, to saying that my head resembled a tampon, I grew very annoyed at her frivolous games. I had discussed this problem with my mom, who had said that Nancy probably just liked me and wanted to show me that. I had took this thought to heart, but I was so bombarded by the annoyance of the acts she perpetrated, that I couldn't think if this was her form of showing affection.
After a very long while, I got so fed up with her antics that I just lost my temper, and screamed at her to just leave me alone! She wasn't too thrilled to hear that, and ran off. I didn't mean to yell at her, but she just began to get under my skin. As I reflect on it to this day, I think that her antics were her idea of getting noticed by me. Unfortunately, I had such a rotten temper, I couldn't see her clearly cute attempts for my attention, and instead mistook it for clearly malicious intentions.
This particular instance cannot relate to Hamlet himself, but using the scene I chose before, one could argue that Ophelia was the recepient of the unwanted affection. She didn't really care for Hamlet on that deep level, and responded to his actions by way of being fearful of him.
Whether it be me crushing on someone, and the feelings not reciprocrated, or someone liking me and not getting the reaction they want, one thing is underlying: We both feel the other's pain. No matter what the situation, the pain is what I think is always reciprocal.
--------------------------------------------------
Bonus Reflection
Even now, after I've had my first relationship (which sadly ended) I am once again in the hot seat of unrequited love. Whether I decide to pursue someone new, or someone I'd rather not start a relationship with comes towards me, I will feel some of the wrath of unrequited love.
I did have a good relationship in the past with my special someone, and even though that we don't exist "as one" anyone, I still have feelings for that person. I haven't moved on yet. Arguably, you could say that I am a victim on unrequited love in this instance if my girlfriend has moved on, and retains no prior feelings of love for me. She then becomes the recipient of my unwanted affection, and I sure hope that's not the case.
P.S. Sorry for the Extremely long winded, Polonius-esque entry, I had a lot of personal things (that I don't mind divulging) to say on this topic. ~K*.
I have been a victim of unrequited love. My feelings and actions reflect those of Hamlet in the play entitled Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. Since I had strong feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same for me, I began to question myself. I felt degraded in a way and as a result my behavior changed dramatically. In the play, Ophelia describes Hamlet’s wardrobe as “ungartered,” “fouled,” and “doublet.” Although my appearance wasn’t dramatized to this extent, I began to pay little to no attention to the clothes I was wearing. I felt like if he didn’t feel the same way as me, why should I worry about impressing him. In the play, Hamlet gives Ophelia a letter, which she later rejects. I believe this is the reason he is acting differently (and of course because of the death of his father).
In return, I have also been a recipient of affection for someone whom I didn’t feel the same about. I felt uncomfortable in that situation because I tried to play into the role of liking the person back, but in return I wasn’t being myself. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place but I finally decided it would be better to be honest with both that person and myself. I am beginning to infer that this is what is happening with Ophelia and Hamlet in the play. It is evident that Hamlet has affection for her because he was caressing her but on the contrary Ophelia rejected his letter.
Surprisingly, I have been a victim of unrequited love many times unfortunately and let me say now it is not a good feeling. I felt like someone that has the feeling that no one loves them and they are pretty much in the world alone. In this modern time with the ways children behave, being a member of unrequited love is a joke to them and they will forever talk about, “Oh you got shut down.” So when this happens it really makes you feel like a no one. I think that’s how Ophelia feels in the book Hamlet. For example, when Hamlet was talking to Ophelia and knew that she was being watched he still saying all those things trying to get her in trouble I guess. It also seemed that Ophelia really likes Hamlet and he was denying even writing those letters and basically calling her a whore. There have also been many times where I have been the recipient of affection from someone whom I did not care about. It actually felt kind of good because it shows that there are people out there who really care about you, but also if you don’t care about them then that love/affection won’t really matter to you. Some people would actually want that person to just leave him/her alone. For example, just the opposite of what I said before. Ophelia likes Hamlet but the way Hamlet is acting it shows that he doesn’t care about her if he is asking all of these questions about her virginity when he does that is just a reputation killer and he knows that there are people listening and watching their conversation.
Ok, im going to try mine again. I too have "been the victim of unrequited love". However, my case was a little twisted. I believed, just like Hamlet, that i was a victim of unrequited love. I acted in the same ways hamlet acted and thought the same way he thought in his "to be or not to be" speech. I spent so long of a time in this mentality, and became so shrouded in it, that i couldnt see the truth. I was recieiving the love all along, just not in the way in which i desired it. It turned me into a very "bitter" and "dark" person, but through the course of maturing and growing up(kind of redundant)i was able to truley see the love i was recieving. it is amusing to look back on the fact that i was so "desperate" for my "Ophelia's" love, that i would resort to such Hamlet-like tactics,-though substantialy less carnal. I have learned- unlike Hamlet- not to be to rash about the events occuring in my life. Somtimes things just need to be waited out and the outcome observed. It would be a little extreme to go around killing "fishmongers" haha. I believe that Hamlet should have taken the time to asess the situation and then choose an appropriate reaction instead of just rushing into his plan.
P.S. to my boy Kyle. I dont think ANY male TRULEY understands the female species bro. We can TRY, but there are some things that we, as males, just cant understand. However, when you really think about it, thats what makes them SO awesome, because during this journey to truley understand them, they bring out the BEST in us....222
-Justice
Well I think that I have not really been a victim of unrequited love but I have been more the recipient of affection from someone whom I did not care about. Being the recipient of someone whom I don't care about is not really a good feeling because I would not want that person to do the same thing to me, I know that I will feel hurt and crush. Then again it’s good to know that I have someone that cares for me but then again it is hopeless because I do not feel the same way. I always end up being a recipient of affection from someone I don’t care about. I kind of can compare myself to Hamlet, like for example when Hamlet knew that Ophelia likes him and he was rejecting her and cursing her. I would not say that I am exactly like Hamlet because I don’t curse the person but I somehow push them away and deny them by my action and words which is not really a good thing to do. Hamlet shows Ophelia that he did not care about her but I just do it without even realizing that I am doing it.
Kyle,
Many girls in high school fall for "bad boys," This is not always the case, but often is. I don't know why. I wish I did. It has something to do with this weird complex and need to try and help and fix those in need. At some point it goes away. My husband says and I think he is right that geeks and nerds get the ultimate revenge. They show up to their high school reunions with the highest paying jobs and the smartest/hottest/most desirable women or partners by their sides. I think there is some truth to that at least in my experience.
Jenn,
Sort of a vague entry on your part but I do understand that this is a sensitive topic. I know what you mean though about trying to please someone who likes you by being nice to them and then realizing that you are misleading them or not being yourself. It is hard to reject someone without hurt feelings. Sigh.
Matt,
Hmmmm, I don't really know what to say. If you push someone away,the message is "get lost."
Jeriel,
In the film today I was thinking about how heavy the queen's comments were to Ophelia when she said she hoped that Ophelia's beauty and virtue would bring Hamlet back to his senses. For the first time, I realized that one way to think about this is that the Queen was actually making a veiled threat. She was saying, if Hamlet doesn't come around, your rep is dead girl." Ouch. It must have been scary to be poor Ophelia.
Nadege,
I think you are a heartbreaker. I can tell!
:-)
Okay I am going to redeem myself. I need to reword my paragraph. At that moment I was not really thinking, nothing came into my mind so Lauren I am going to fix it because I am not a heart breaker. So here it goes.
Well I don’t really know whether or not having a crush on somebody or liking somebody is a part of unrequited love. If it is then I have been a victim of unrequited love because I’ve had a guy that I really like but I would not say I love him and he does not notice since I don’t show it around him. So I am not really sure if that is unrequited love. One thing that I know for sure is that I have been the recipient of affection from someone else but its not like I do not care about that person because I do care for that person just not in the relationship Love way but in a friendship way. I could say that right now I am in a situation like that. Being the recipient of someone whom I do care about is not really a good feeling because that person and I still share something which is friendship and being able to speak to that person is kind of hard but I think that not speaking to that person at all will really crush me down. It’s good to know that I have someone that cares for me but then again it is hopeless because I do not feel the same way. I think that the only reason why I have been a recipient of love or affection is because I prefer being friends with that boy than be in a relationship with them because I do not want to be the one to get hurt at the end and I think hat I am not ready for love. I don’t really know whom should I compare my self to, whether I am like hamlet or Ophelia. Hamlet and Ophelia both like each other but then again they push each other away so I’m not really sure in which character I fit in.
Nadege, You seem to be all mixed up. Get thee to a therapist! :0( Seriously, what exactly do you want? What exactly did Ophelia want? I think you two have more in common than you realize. Too bad she is not real because you two could text all day long and dance the night away. What kind of music do you think she'd like?
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